C-R-A-Z-I-E-R

Haha :)
Hi all! This is not my Sunday -,-a
Why? Cause i'm really boring ryt now :-(
There's nothing i can do --a
Ok, maybe i can help my grandma moma and aunty to cooking or sweeping home, but...
Ahhh, you know, that i'm lazy -,-a
And i'm still not breakfast till now!

Ahhhh! i'm boring! :(
I want to hang out with a friends. But, with who?
Asih go to celebrating her friend birthday --
And Uwi?? Sometimes i'm nervous when talk w/ her,
Mbah? Ahhh
I'm sure she still angry 'cause the last accident --a
And now, i'm sitting on my chair, and dreaming bout something =////=
Err, i think i shouldn't tell it to you
:PPPP

NP on my phone- Robbie Williams-Only you know me.

Well-, exactly i prefer like 'reflection' that 'only you know me'.
But in reflection's lyrics.. Hmph, there's something...
Hahaha :)
Forget it! XP

THE MEMORIES (for leonhard, i hope you read it and give me some answer)

Hoo
Good morning everyone!
I'm free today!
But, i'm still not free from that feelings..

Hahaha
Now i looking for me and my bestfriends photos in JHS
Really, how i miss that moment,
I miss to wore that uniform again,
I miss the smell of my class
I miss my locker,
I'm miss Tadarus with them, togehter,

Everytime as time goes by, i felt like something important missing in my heart,
Like one pieces of my heart is fall, and broken,
And i know what is that now,
A FRIEND.
I MISS A FRIEND.
Well-, yeah, i still have a friends `here, but--
They do not like LEONHARDS

I'm always think that they're the best friends i ever had,
I always do anything, to make me nice in their eyes,
To make them love me, to make them always smile to me,
To make them never leave,

I'm always tried to be a good friends,
But, i think, what i'm done at that time, was wrong--

And now, i think you hate me.

I always tried to be honest to you,to be there everytime you need me,
But, how really stupid i am,,
I can't feel that you not NEED me ANYMORE.

Yeah :)
I know it,

You tell your secret to her, to Leonhards-except me
And when i asking you that, you just answered 'I don't know too what they talking about.. heheh'


Oh, sweety, don't be a liar,
Do you really hate me?


I know, i know what happen. But, must i always be the searching?
Must i become the active?
Why not you?
You always telling and active to all LEONHARDS,
But, to me?


Hahaha, everytime i see you in fb, or send a sms to you,
Your words are sound like 'Hei, stupid. I am boring to talk with you. Go out from my life!'
You really not exciting to talk with me


Like i said before, huh?
There's no friends forever
We can't be like the past again if we separated

And that become true

Did you really hate me?
And want to erase me from your life?

HAHA

woah, the meanings of this song are really deep!

Itu membuatku tertunduk, membuatku sadar betapa kecilnya diriku ini dihadapan-Nya..
Dan begitu congkaknya diriku..
Padahal aku, cuma bagai debu di dunia ini..
Allah nggak butuh aku..
Aku yang butuh Allah..
Aku nggak mau jauh dari-Mu, ya Kariim..
Aku ingin selalu ada di dekat-Mu..
Ya Allah
lindungilah kami semua
dari penyakit hati dan kegelisahan yang menyesatkan dan membuat kami tidak tenangkan.
Tenangkan lah hati ini dengan hidayah-Mu ya Allah
terangilah pikiran kami dengan cahaya-Mu yang terang benderang itu.
Masukkanlah kami ke golongan orang mukmin.
Dan buatlah kami jadi anak yang di bangga orangtua kami....
Amiin

WOULD YOU BE HAPPIER-THE CORRS

Have you ever wonder where the
story ends, and how it all began, I do
(I do, I do, I do, I do)
Did you ever dream you were the
movie star with popcorn in your hand,
I did (I did, I did, I did)
Do you ever think you're someone else
inside, when no one understands you
are (you are)
And wanna disappear inside a dream
but never wanna wake, wake uuuuuup
Then you stumble on tomorrow, and
trip over today
(Chorus)
Would you be happier if you were
someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you
played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't
for the weather
You're gonna be just fine (gonna be
just fine)
Are you not afraid to tell your story
now, when everyone is done it's too
late (too late, too late)
Was everything you've ever said or
done not the way you planned,
mistaaaake
So you promised that tomorrow, be
different than today
(Chorus)
Would you be happier if you were
someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you
played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't
for the weather
You're gonna be just fine
I think you're gonna be just fine
You're gonna be just fine
So don't worry baby
You're racing for tomorrow, not
finished with today
Would you be happier if you were
someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if you
played a bigger part
Would you be wonderful if it wasn't
for the weather
I think you're gonna be just fine
Would we be happier if we were
someone together
Would the sun shine brighter if we
played a bigger part
Would we be wonderful if it wasn't
for the weather
I think we're gonna be just fine
I think you're gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby
Gonna be just fine
Don't worry honey
Gonna be just fine
Don't worry baby
Gonna be just fiiiiine

nb/: sometimes, i wish i have someone to sing this song, and make me cheer up :')
But, in the fact, no one wants sing this tome :)
Ahh, i'm too daydreaming. For what they sing it to me?
toh, in their eyes i'm so unimportant :)
And i'm just will slowly disappears from their life :)
I know you want guys ;)

--------

TO ALL MY BESTFRIENDS.
IF YOU STILL THINK THAT I'M YOUR FRIENDS.
EVEN I EVER SAID THAT YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS ANYMORE, I NEVER MEANS THAT.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S SO HARD FOR ME TO DELETE AND FORGET SOMETHING PRECIOUS IN MY LIFE..
AND YOU ALL, ONE OF MANY PRECIOUS THINGS I HAD IN THIS LIFE.
THIS DEDICATED FOR:
MY BESTFRIEND EVER-AMIRA
THE ONE WHO ALWAYS CAN MAKE ME CALM, AND SOMETIMES MAKE ME CRIES-NIDA
THE ONE WHO REALLY LOVEABLE, AND MAKES ME FEEL ALONE IN THIS WORLD-BULKIS.
BUT HOWEVER, YOU'RE THE BEST CHAIRMATES I EVER HAVE. AMIRA TOO. OF COURSE.
THE ONE WHO ALWAYS CHEER ME UP WITH JOKES, EVERYTIME-MARISA.
AND THE LAST, THE ONE WHO SOMETIMES DO SOMETHING THAT I HATE AND MAKES ME ALWAYS FEEL I'M SO USELESS AND UNIMPORTANT IN THIS WORLD-WIDA.
BUT, SHE'S STILL MY FRIENDS WHO INFLUENCE ME TO LEARN ENGLISH MUCH BETTER, THOUGH

THE SCIENTIST-COLDPLAY
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm
sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

If i can replay that again..

I wish i can do that.
Really. To fixs all my mistakes to my friends.
Ahh, you know, blog?
I make new promise in my heart now,,
I'll never believe someone too much again now
Like how i really believing them,,
Thinking that they'll never leave me,,
Thinking that they'll always besides me,,
I know, i'm not perfect at all.

I'm not an loveable girl. Not a beautiful, smart, and active girl.
Oh, my friends, you don't how i'm really changes now,,
There's no IRA again,, She already gone from my soul,,
But there's FEDIRA
Someone who always be quiet, silence, and smiling to everyone. Thought she don't like them.
FEDIRA always wear that,,
THE SMLE FACE,,
So, everybody wi;; never hate her,, and will kept close to her,,
Hahaha, how really MUNAFIK she is,,
But, what can i do again?
I've been lost myself. I've been lost the light in my heart.
Nothing there except the darkness,
And my soul, full of it now,,
NEVER TALK AND OPINION LIKE YOU REALLY KNOW WHO I AM

You don't know what happen to me in the past
In the home, behind your back, and now,,

And all of that memories, make me back with different emotional,,
Become SINIS person, and always wear a smile everytime,
Is BETTER than be someone who really show her emotion,,
Ehm, we call them, 'BLAK-BLAKAN'

You know, i have 5 new principe now,,
Want to know that?
1. NEVER BELIEVE SOMEONE TOO MUCH AGAIN (i'm already said it in the first)
2. DO NOT TOO MUCH DREAMS. CAUSE IT MIGHT HURT YOU
3. JUST SMILE, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT
4. JUST BE YOURSELF, FEDIRA. DON'T CARE HOW REALLY UGLY YOU ARE, HOW REALLY NOT-LOVEABLE YOU ARE, JUST BE YOURSELF. SHOW THEM, HOW YOU CAN LIFE WITHOUT THEM.
5. I JUST HAVE 2 FRIENDS-2 PERSON THAT I CAN BELIEVE.
MY HANDPHONE
AND YOU, MY BLOG
Of course, Allah too. But Allah not a person. Allah is the GOD.
The Only One who made me,,

Ok Guys, i'll tell you something about me that you never know.
MY FAMILY IS NOT LIKE YOUR FAMILY.
YOUR LITTLE WARM FAMILY.
BUT MY FAMILY IS NOT AN BROKEN HOME TOO.
THAT'S A WARM FAMILY TOO..

BUT, THAT'S NOT LIKE YOUR FAMILY,,



AND ALL OF THAT THINGS
MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS HERE, AND JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOLS
ARE MAKES ME CHANGE NOW,,
THANK'S TO YOU ALL
YOU BUILT MY NEW PERSONALITY
AND MAKES ME DROWNING MORE DEEP TOO
IN THE NEVER ENDING DARKNESS SEA..
THANK'S A LOT

story

Peluru itu lagi-lagi menembus jantungku.
Tatapan mata itu lagi-lagi membekukanku.
Dan raut wajah itu, lagi-lagi membuatku terpana.
Aku..jatuh lagi..
Untuk kesekian kalinya..

James Arthur Geordann namanya. Pemuda tampan berambut coklat terindah yang pernah kutemui selama 340 tahun aku hidup. Ia memiliki matanya yang selalu bisa membiusku, dan membuatku tenggelam ke dalam mata biru malamnya.
Aku pertama kali mengenalnya saat kelompokku sedang mengadakan perburuan di kaki bukit Winston, dan aku melihatnya. Aku mungkin awalnya hanyalah menganggapnya mangsa-hingga ia menghisapku ke dalam matanya.
Membuatku membeku, dan merona,-untuk yang pertama kalinya setelah kejadian itu..


-'Kau jahat, Rico!'aku ingat, kata itulah yang terakhir kali kukatakan sebelum darah emas itu mengalir di pembuluhku. Sebelum darah itu mengubah genetikaku menjadi pengisap darah yang selalu haus. Vampire. Yah, kau tahu itu apa. Itulah aku. Detik terakhirnya yang kutahu saat aku merasa hidupku tak berarti lagi, aku membiarkan para pemangsa itu menggerogoti & mengisap darah di tubuhku. Dan saat aku sadar, aku.. Sudah menjadi makhluk yang sama seperti mereka.
Ini salahmu, Rico. Salah tunanganku yang bermulut manis itu. Kalau saja kau tidak membohongi dan mengkhianatiku, tentunya saat ini aku sudah ada di sampingmu-sebagai mempelai wanita. Tidak seperti saat ini-ada di sampingmu, yang mengering kehabisan darah. Kuseka tetesan darah di ujung bibirku. Aku sengaja tak menyisakannya darah setitikpun. Aku tak mau ia juga berubah menjadi makhluk konyol sepertiku. Akupun berbalik, dan mendapati Elisabeth-vampire yang satu asrama denganku, tersenyum sinis, "Sudah selesai acara balas dendamnya?"
"Tentu.."jawabku sambil mengambil jasku yang tergeletak di lantai. "Dan rasanya.. Menyenangkan.."lanjutku lagi.

--

'Diane Emerson Henrietta'
Deceased by a bear in the Hope hills.
There was a eight biten found in her body. She died because miss half of her blood.She will buried in Howstoun McGrory public
cemetery. -

Itulah potongan koran terakhir yang kubaca 320 tahun yang lalu. Diane si gadis malang, yang tidak punya keluarga dan di temukan tewas di pegunungan, dan di makamkan di pemakaman massal.Ya, dialah aku. Perkenalkan, akulah Diane yang dibicarakan di koran itu. Akulah gadis berambut pirang kemerahan oleh darah yang ada di koran itu.
Hahaha, akulah si payah yang mati hanya karena sakit hati. Kutatap sudut asramaku-asrama Weckerson, asrama untuk para vampire sepertiku. Hei, jangan kira kami ini tidak berpendidikan. Kami juga punya sekolah. Hanya saja.. Sekolah itu agak berbeda dari kalian. "Diane!"seru seseorang tiba-tiba. Aku menoleh. Dan melihat seorang gadis berkacamata dengan terengah-rengah menghampiriku. "Kenapa?"
"haah.. Haaah.. Sebentar.."ucapnya berusaha mengatur nafas. Ia lalu melanjutkan perkataannya. "Aku dari bagian penyiaran akademi, ingin memberikan undangan ini padamu"lengan putihnya lalu mengulurkan sehelai kertas.
"This Our Party!
Be sure you come to this biggest event in this year!
You can dancing,
You can singing,
And mostly important, you can DRINKING blood as you like!!
What a great party is this! Right?
So come on!
We'll looking forward to see you on:
Thursday-3th
Jane (ex) ballet hall at Southern 3rd street"
Begitulah kira-kira isinya. Dengan cepat, aku mengembalikan kertas itu padanya. "Maaf, tapi aku tidak tertarik. Lebih baik aku memburu mangsa sendiri,"
"Ta-tapi, pesta ini sangat menyenangkan! Kami sangat mengharapkan kehadiranmu!"cegatnya kemudian. Aku sedikit menghentakkan tanganku, lalu kembali berbalik, "Apa alasanmu sehingga kehadiranku akan menjadi sangat penting disana?"
Gadis itu terdiam. Ia lalu membetulkan kacamatanya, dan mulai berbicara dengan suara rendah "Kita akan melanggar peraturan Akademi. Kita akan mencari mangsa 30 km darisini. Dan kau, akan sangat di butuhkan dalam hal ilusi.."--

--

I love, oh maybe, i LIKE someone that i shouldn't like.
Yeah, maybe this mad.
Haha, never think i like vampires, or werewolfs like in Twilight.
I just like, some ordinary person. Who always looks extra-ordinary in my eyes.
I don't know, what the part of him that make me exciting.
He's have a handsome face. But you know, his not the most shining stone in stone basket.

I like him. But i don't know why. Maybe you'll say that i'm stipid or crazy, cause i like him, before that i know him! And i never talk & chat with him!
Is it something called 'love at the first sight'?
Hahaha